(Mom and Dad, please don't send me any of this stuff. I'm begging you.)
1) Pre-addressed, stamped envelopes and stationary so we can be "pen pals" with our parents! Yea, how about a message in a bottle, or attach a note to a balloon while we are at it! Learn to use the computer, try some texting (but not to me), and don't say to me, "Can you just send me a letter, this whole www @ whatever stuff is too confusing."
2) Home videos from childhood birthday parties, first grade 'graduation,' middle school dances -- you get the idea. And yes, these videos were originally recorded on VHS tapes. BUT have no fear, parents will convert them to DVD so we can watch them with our new college friends! Just what I always wanted, my college friends meeting my family for the first time and seeing me take a bath when I was two years old.
3) Condoms. Really?!?! Why don't we just talk about your hazy crazy college days!? You know what, on second thought, how about we pass right by that conversation too. Done.
4) Phone cards so we can call you more. We'll use the minutes to call friends at other schools. And if you increase our monthly text messaging limit, we still won't text you. I want that as much as I want the junk mail that's accumulated at home from people that don't need to know my new address.
5) THOSE VOICE MESSAGES THAT WE WILL DELETE AS SOON AS WE HEAR THAT NAGGING TONE...we aren't eating healthily, we don't care about cleaning up our dorms (the messier the better) and we aren't getting enough sleep!
6) The college version of a toddler themed room - pink for girls a la Disney Princesses, blue for boys like the days of Power Rangers. I know Aunt Pearl really wants to get me a fluffy pink pillow because it is "all the rage" and "just to die for," overheard at her hopping senior bingo, but please...Just give us a gift certificate and we'll go to Bed Bath & Beyond.
7) Any sort of gear or gadget. Yes, we know all about those MP3 things, already have the newest and best version, and you probably couldn't turn it on anyway.
8) Tasers or pepper spray. Are you testing me for your next "surprise 8:00 AM visit?" I promise I'll be careful...jeez mom!
9) And in the food category, we're very picky. Visit www.boxobox.com for ideas. Nothing healthy please (unless it's from Box-O-Box).
10) Presents for our roommates. What about MEEEEE? (Use whiny voice). Take our advice from the last tip, and please send a Box-O-Box, promise we'll share!!! (Revert to angelic tone).
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Are you trying to sell your product to college students, or to their parents? Because this list was a big turn OFF to parents. We're people, too, you know -- and insulting us is not the way to convince us to hand over our money.
ReplyDeleteAre you trying to sell your product to college students, or to their parents? Because this list was a big turn OFF to parents. We're people, too, you know -- and insulting us is not the way to convince us to hand over our money.
ReplyDelete